


before the winds of mistrust

by Nervouslaughter508



Category: The School for Good and Evil - Soman Chainani
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/F, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Jealousy, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:02:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27775030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nervouslaughter508/pseuds/Nervouslaughter508
Summary: Sophie thinks that Nicola could be someone she loves. Really loves, like Agatha, someone she dives into the deep end for. And she’d really like that, she really would. It would be a pleasure, a privilege, a reward to get to love Nicola with no bounds, no restrictions.But-Well, Sophie has learned to avert her eyes from the sun, after a while.
Relationships: Hort/Nicola (The School for Good and Evil), Nicola/Sophie (The School for Good and Evil)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	before the winds of mistrust

**Author's Note:**

> i don't really know what this is, but i do know that i liked the sound of it. title from lorde

Sophie thinks that Nicola could be someone she loves. Truly, genuinely, loves, like how she loves Agatha, and how Agatha loves her. And she thinks Nicola could be someone she dives into the deep end for. And she’d really like that, she really would. It would be a pleasure, a privilege, a _reward_ to get to love Nicola freely with no bounds, no restrictions. Hort couldn’t make her happy the way Sophie could, she recites as she watches them laugh over a bag of taffy. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. He's flimsy and clumsy and-

It scares her that maybe he **_could_ **. 

Maybe Sophie has to reevaluate how she feels. She's always dived into every other feeling with an intensity she's patented. Why drown in oblivion? Sophie can make anyone fall in love with her. The unbridled angst serves no purpose to her. Why this? Why her? Why _him_?

There's no reason to not love Nicola though, and she thinks the truth of it will swallow her whole. She’s Sophie’s match, unrelenting and smart and passionate, even more so then Sophie. She’s one of the most astounding people she’s ever met. She’s gorgeous to the point where it stings, to the point where you have to look away because _it_ **_hurts_ ** _._ It hurts to look at her for a long time, and the fleeting looks Sophie takes aren’t good enough. 

Cool, unflappable Nicola who never lets anyone or anything under her skin and who’s been under Sophie’s since the day they exchanged words.

This isn't the type of thing Sophie has control over. 

She can't control the resemblance Nicola has to the sun, bright, and shining, and so very unattainable it hurts, and Sophie might even be the moon, she is alone and cold and fine with it, really. She is fine with her capacity and she is fine with her stillness, the folded hands, straight posture, wry remarks. She likes who she is. The distance is a little bothersome, sometimes, but Sophie continues to revolve, and so does Nicola, and _somehow-_

well, somehow, 

they keep missing each other. 

Sophie can't control it, anyways. She never could. All she can do is laugh at her remarks and tilt her cup towards her, and fantasize and lie awake to the sounds of her still-pounding heart. It has to be enough. It has to be enough. It has to be enough. ( ** _it's not_** ) 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are appreciated! if you'd like somewhere to direct ur threats, my tumblr is @castorfordean


End file.
